


Sellotape

by Fire_Bear



Series: Sticky [3]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: (probably more on the), (side of things), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguments, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Heartache, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-20 21:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fire_Bear/pseuds/Fire_Bear
Summary: Having made new friends at a book club he's joined since Valentine's Day, Arthur is meeting their significant others and introducing them to his own. But an angry ex turns up during dinner and the cheerful atmosphere for the night is ruined...





	1. Cut

**Author's Note:**

> This is supposed to be happening at the end of March/start of April. So I'm a bit late with this and, since I want to write a chapter of something else next, I expect the next chapter of this will also be a bit late, so...
> 
> NB: A couple of the relationships I mentioned are important... but don't really happen much? I mean, they're there, but they're not together. I hope that makes sense?

Arthur opened the door and ushered his partner inside, smiling at him, albeit a little cautiously. This was the first time since they’d gotten back together that Arthur was going out with Kiku. He’d made new friends since he’d last seen Kiku and this dinner was going to be their way of introducing each other to their significant others. Arthur only thanked the Heavens above that he had Kiku instead of being a fifth wheel on a double date.

Once inside, the waiter beckoned them and they followed on. Arthur glanced at Kiku and noticed his pursed lips. Thinking he was probably nervous, Arthur put a gentle hand on his elbow and smiled at him when he looked up. “I’m sure they’ll love you,” Arthur told him. “And you’ll love them, too. They’re really nice people. I’m so glad I had them when…” He trailed off then and tried not to grimace. Kiku lowered his eyes to the floor.

“It’s… hm… not that,” Kiku murmured. He gave Arthur a weak smile. “I just didn’t realise we were coming here.”

“Oh? What’s wrong with this place?” Arthur glanced around. He was aware that this restaurant was a fine dining establishment, though it changed its themes and, apparently, its chefs each night. So, one night, it would be French, the next Italian. Arthur wondered what it would be tonight.

“I used to come here with Herakles,” Kiku said.

It took an immense amount of willpower for Arthur not to stop in his tracks. Pain lanced through him and he had the sudden urge to put as much distance between Kiku and himself as possible. Kiku rarely mentioned him, perhaps due to Arthur’s reactions, but occasionally it would slip and, like now, he would sound terribly sad. He never looked at Arthur when that happened.

But Arthur had good reason to feel uneasy whenever Kiku brought the other man up. Kiku had broken up with Arthur, Herakles by his side for moral support. He’d told Arthur that he was in love with Herakles, that he was leaving Arthur for  _ him _ . Then, a few weeks ago, he’d come to Arthur’s flat, downtrodden and practically grovelling as he begged to be allowed to stay for a while, just till he’d found somewhere else to stay. They’d had an argument, apparently, though Kiku never told him about what. Arthur, unable to say no to the man he’d once loved so much, let him in.

Two weeks later, Kiku kissed him.

To say that Arthur was surprised would be an understatement. But he didn’t have long to stare at Kiku before the man was begging him to take him back, apologising, telling Arthur that he’d made a mistake. If this had happened a week or so after Kiku had broken up with him, Arthur wouldn’t have hesitated. However, he’d come back to him after Alfred and Arthur wasn’t sure of his feelings towards Kiku any more. In fact, he wasn’t sure he should have let him into the flat at all.

Eventually, though, he had caved. Arthur was lonely; he yearned for affection, yearned for Alfred. Or for someone to fill his space. And he knew Kiku. This wasn’t a random stranger. He knew all of Kiku’s quirks and Arthur decided that he would be fine with allowing Kiku back into his life.

He’d said yes and their celebrations had lasted all night.

Yet Arthur’s uneasiness hadn’t left him and he often wondered if he had made the right choice.

Arthur only came back to the moment at hand when he spotted Lukas and Alexandru with their significant others, sitting at a round table in the middle of the room. His smile at spotting them came unbidden. The delight at having made a calmer bunch of friends than Francis and the others washed away the lingering dread that Kiku’s presence dredged up. Arthur waited until Lukas glanced up to give Arthur a single wave of his hand before speaking.

“Lukas. Alexandru. Hello,” said Arthur, smiling at them.

Alexandru turned his whole body towards Arthur. “Hey!” he exclaimed, though not loud enough to attract the attention of other patrons. “You made it! I was beginning to think you’d gotten lost.”

“It’s just ’round the corner from the café we usually meet in,” Arthur replied with a roll of his eyes.

“Yes, but you did take your time getting here,” Lukas pointed out. “We were thinking of ordering without you.”

“Thank you for waiting,” Arthur told him with a small smile. Then he took a deep breath and turned slightly so they could see Kiku. “So, let me introduce you: this is Kiku, my… partner.”

If anyone noticed the hesitation, nobody said anything. Instead, there were hellos and the shaking of hands. Lukas gestured to a grinning man sitting beside him. His blond hair was spiked up, something which drew the eye. Blue eyes twinkled happily; that was probably due to the fact that Arthur could see him holding Lukas’s free hand under the table. Both of them were wearing smart-casual clothing like the rest of them, though Mathias had opted for jeans rather than plain trousers. “I’m Lukas,” he explained to Kiku as Arthur pulled out his seat for him. “And this is Mathias, my boyfriend. We finally got together a few weeks ago, after he’d stopped being an idiot.”

Mathias laughed a little. “It’s nice to meet you. And I’m sorry that I kinda gave Lukas the run-around.”

“Wasn’t it more Lukas that was giving  _ you _ the run-around?” Alexandru asked, smirking at him.

“Well, yeah, but that whole jealousy thing…” Mathias mumbled.

“You’re forgiven,” Alexandru told him. “Right?” he added, turning back to Arthur.

Arthur shrugged as he settled in his chair, making sure Kiku had enough room at the table. “If Lukas is happy…”

“I am,” said Lukas calmly, though the pink tinge to his cheeks showed how embarrassed he still was to admit that.

“Anyway, enough about that!” Alexandru exclaimed. “This is  _ my _ amazing boyfriend, Dimitar. I call him Dimo.”

Both Arthur and Lukas had heard a lot about ‘Dimo’ since they’d all met through the book club. Alexandru praised him as being caring and wonderful and gorgeous. Arthur couldn’t really see it. He was pretty and, at a stretch, handsome, but Arthur honestly thought that Alexandru was the better looking of the two of them. That was probably due to Dimitar’s rather plain appearance: short, brown hair, neatly parted; dull green eyes; a polite smile on a small mouth. Unlike Arthur, Lukas, Mathias and Kiku’s proper shirts, Dimitar was only wearing a long-sleeved, dark purple top. Alexandru had opted to roll up the sleeves of his own dark red one.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Arthur told Dimitar. “We’ve heard a lot about you – it’s nice to be able to put a face to the name.”

“Yeah,” Lukas agreed, his accent heavy on that one word.

“It’s probably all been lies,” Dimitar assured them. “Alex is a compulsive liar.”

“I am not!” Alexandru protested.

“Liar,” Dimitar retorted, tone mildly amused. Alexandru responded by pouting at him.

“Before Alexandru starts rambling,” Lukas said, “we should order.” He nodded behind Arthur and he twisted to find the waitress standing right behind him.

As he turned, he spotted Kiku, hunched in on himself slightly. Grimacing, Arthur wondered if it had been a good idea, bringing Kiku out on what was essentially a triple date so soon after they’d gotten back together. He desperately wanted to reach out, to hold his hand and squeeze it gently to wordlessly reassure him. But Arthur remembered how Kiku hadn’t liked public displays of affection at the beginning of their original relationship and it was too soon for Arthur to know what he was comfortable with now. Could they go back to the way they were before Herakles came into the picture? Or would he have to wait an undetermined amount of time before he could introduce him as his boyfriend once again?

Having not noticed Arthur’s inner turmoil or Kiku’s closed off demeanour, Alexandru began to excitedly order something which he stuttered over. In fact, Arthur had never been in a restaurant which served kolokythokeftedes or moussaka, whatever they were. Opening his menu, he cast his eyes over it – and froze. For there, pride of place at the top right of it, was the familiar blue and white of the Greek flag. Arthur couldn’t stop himself from looking over at Kiku, whose lips were slightly pursed. His expression was otherwise blank but Arthur knew that he was in emotional pain.

Why did they have to organise this for today?

Kiku hardly looked at the menu when he eventually ordered, something which Arthur found a little worrying. Was that something he had eaten many times before with Herakles? Why did he remember it? Was he thinking of Herakles right now? Of course he was, Arthur admonished himself as he stumbled over his own order.

Once the waitress was gone, Alexandru turned to Kiku. “So, Kiku, we’ve heard a fair bit about you, too.”

“You have?” asked Kiku, cautiously. He glanced at Arthur who met his eyes with a shrug of a shoulder.

“Yup,” Alexandru replied, poking at his cutlery. “Not all of it was good.”

“What Alexandru is trying to say,” Lukas began.

“Honestly,” Alexandru suddenly sighed. “I thought I’d told you two to call me Alex.”

Arthur made a face. “Yes, but we barely know you. It feels wrong.”

“I can reintroduce myself as Alex if it makes you feel any better.”

“What Alex was trying to say before he got side-tracked,” Lukas said, shaking his head, “was that we'd like to know your reasons for getting back together with Arthur.”

Stiffening in his seat, Arthur slowly turned his head. Even  _ he _ wasn't entirely sure what was going through Kiku's head. Was it just more convenient for him to feign an interest in Arthur again? Did he truly feel attraction to him? After all, the sex they had had since getting back together seemed... lacklustre.

It wasn't at all like that night in the club with Alfred...

Gritting his teeth, Arthur mentally shoved those thoughts aside. He couldn't think about Alfred. He had to forget about him. There was no way he could dwell on the man he... No. Kiku was his and he was Kiku's - right?

"I made a mistake," Kiku told them. "Arthur's always been amazing and..." Kiku stopped to shake his head. "Somehow I forgot that. And I remembered, recently, just how brilliant he is. I couldn't hold my feelings back any longer." He turned then, smiling at Arthur who smiled helplessly back, a blush definitely present on his cheeks.

"I-I'm not that great..." Arthur murmured, reaching out to toy with his neatly folded napkin.

A hand suddenly appeared in his line of vision and lightly landed on his own. Glancing up, he found Kiku smiling at him, expression so fond that Arthur's breath caught. "You are," said Kiku. "And... you know how sorry I am to have done that to you. I honestly don't deserve you."

Had it been anyone else looking at Kiku then, Arthur was sure they wouldn't have noticed the flicker of Kiku's eyes as he said the last part. Something seemed to sink within Arthur, even as he felt his heart squeeze in his chest. Whatever they had going on, Arthur began to doubt then that it was good for either of them. Yet... He would hold desperately onto the good part while it lasted.

"I know," he said with a smile of his own, with a miraculously steady voice.

"Aw, look at 'em!" said Alexandru, completely bulldozing over the moment. "So cute!"

"Hm," said Lukas. That worried Arthur and he glanced at his friend. Lukas's expression was even more closed off than Kiku's and he couldn't work out what Lukas was thinking. But he continued to gaze at Arthur and Kiku until Mathias caught his attention again, tugging on his hand.

"We're cuter!" Mathias protested. "Aren't we, Luke?" The man leaned in, intent on either a kiss or to press their foreheads together so they could gaze into each other's eyes.

Lukas leaned away. "Don't call me that," he grumbled, turning his face to the side and out of reach.

"Aw, but-!"

"No."

"Anyway, it doesn't matter if you're cuter or not," Alexandru told Mathias smugly. " _ We're _ the cutest. Right, babe?" And, without further warning, Alexandru turned to Dimitar and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

Dimitar rolled his eyes but the pleased blush was visible to the rest of them. They all looked at each other, rather amused. "I think you win," Arthur said.

"Not that any of us wanted to have the title of cutest," Lukas commented.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Mathias, forgetting his disappointment at Lukas's mild rejection. "I wanna be thought of as a badass."

That made Lukas snort. Arthur had to use his free hand to hide his grin. Kiku, however, tilted his head. "What sort of 'badass' things do you do?"

"Don't encourage him," Lukas told him, flatly.

Kiku's mouth twisted in a slight grimace. "I'm so-"

"I do lots of badass stuff!" Mathias declared. "Like the way I asked out Lukas!"

"I thought you did that by making him jealous," Alexandru pointed out.

Before anyone could respond to that, the waitress reappeared with a smile and her arms filled with dishes. They politely thanked her as she set them down, raising their hands to indicate whose was whose. Kiku, however, didn't let go of Arthur's hand the whole time, something which gave Arthur a little more confidence in them as a couple. He tightened his hold a little until all the dishes were set down before releasing him so they could eat.

"Anyway," said Mathias as soon as there was silence, "I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about the way I told him how I feel about him." He turned to Lukas. "Wasn't I a badass?"

"Not really," Lukas said, the corner of his mouth twitching as he tried not to smirk.

Mathias pouted for a moment as the rest of them ate, waiting for the story. Lukas had never told them how he'd done it, just that it had happened and they were dating. Finally, Mathias took a mouthful of his starter, swallowed it and continued. "I broke up with my boyfriend. Or, like, fake boyfriend, I suppose... Not 'cause of Lukas, but 'cause he seemed to... not really care all that much about me? Anyways, as I drove home, kinda upset, I realised I wanted to see Lukas. So I started to drive to his place-"

"At midnight," Lukas added.

"Yeah, and I thought, what am I doing? I can't just go wake him up now. But he's my best friend and... And something just went 'ping!' inside me and I realised I was in love with him. So I went straight to his place."

"At midnight," Lukas repeated.

"But I didn't wanna ring the bell," Mathias told them, waving his fork around. "So I snuck through the backyard. And I would've found a rock to throw but I didn't wanna accidentally break a window so I decided to try shimmying up the drainpipe."

"Oh, no," said Arthur, biting his lip to keep from making a sound.

"At midnight," Lukas stressed.

"Oh, no!" said Alexandru, not bothering to smooth his voice out, the laughter clear in his tone.

"So, there I am, struggling up this pipe, when I heard something above me that wasn’t the pipe moving…” Mathias paused, presumably for dramatic effect. “And I realised someone was moving above me.”

“Lukas?” Arthur suggested. “Having been woken by your noise, he was getting out of bed?”

Despite Lukas opening his mouth, likely to confirm Arthur’s suppositions, Mathias got in first. “Well, I thought, who could be moving around at this time of night, above me, on the roof, probably.”

“This is starting to sound decidedly less and less badass as it goes on,” Dimitar quipped. Alexandru snorted and leaned into him, grinning at him close range. Dimitar tried to hide his smile around his fork.

Mathias pouted at them. “The next part is the most badass part, honest!”

“It’s the part which had me most worried,” Lukas told him.

Blinking, Mathias stopped to look at him. “You… were?”

“Of course I was,” muttered Lukas, gaze fixed on his plate. 

“Awww!” Mathias looked delighted and Arthur couldn’t help but smile at his friends’ happiness. Then, Mathias reached up, cupped Lukas’s jaw and leaned in, evidently for a kiss. Arthur was about to look away, for the sake of their privacy, when Lukas elbowed him away. Mathias winced and grunted. Alexandru laughed as he polished off his starter.

“Did he hurt himself?” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I opened the window and he fell,” Lukas explained. “He was lucky he was only halfway up.”

“But he came down to help me get to my feet,” Mathias explained. “And that was when I told him that I loved him. It took him a few days to believe me, though…” Mathias pouted at Lukas. “But we got there in the end.”

“Such a… sweet? ...story,” said Alexandru, grinning at them.

“If we’re talking how we got together,” Dimitar said, “I think Arthur and Kiku should tell their story.”

That wiped the smile off Arthur’s face. What was he supposed to tell them? That Kiku had appeared on his doorstep, eyes red-rimmed and desperate? That he’d explained that he and Herakles were over, that he needed a place to stay? That he’d let Kiku in, despite his misgivings? That he’d let Kiku kiss him, allowed him to convince him to get back together with him? That he still wasn’t sure about his decision, this relationship, whether he could trust Kiku?

Before he could gather himself, Kiku was already speaking. “My family moved to London when I was almost sixteen,” he explained. “When it came time to go to university, I decided to stay in England, rather than return to Japan as some of my family wanted. That’s where we met.”

“Through friends,” Arthur added, relieved that he was telling the original story. A fond smile spread across his face as he remembered it, nostalgia making Kiku look beautiful in his memory. “We were in different courses and in different dorms but Kiku’s roommate dragged him to a party that my friends dragged me to, as well. Neither of us particularly wanted to be there and we ended up leaning against a wall talking to each other. I…” Arthur ducked his head over his empty plate. “I fell for him a little then but I realised that he wasn’t the sort of person to give out his phone number on a whim. I was willing to forget about him, except…”

“I didn’t have a lot of friends at the time,” Kiku continued for him and, for a moment, Arthur felt as if they had told this story before, that they’d tell it time and time again. He couldn’t help but look up at him, catching his eye as they smiled at each other. “So I asked if he’d-”

“Kiku?” said a voice from behind Arthur. Startled, Arthur turned to look, barely noticing how Kiku had frozen, his smile gone. Everyone else at the table turned as well, looking up at who had spoken. When Arthur saw who it was, however, he wished he hadn’t bothered. There, in all his gorgeous glory, was Herakles, staring at Kiku as if he had found water after a trip through a desert.

For a moment, Arthur thought Kiku was going to pretend Herakles wasn’t there. Then he twisted a little to eye him over his shoulder. “Herakles…”

“It’s so good to see you,” Herakles murmured, sounding a little breathless. His gaze was focussed solely on Kiku and Arthur could see the combined pain and relief on his face. Clearly, he had missed Kiku. Missed Arthur’s boy… partner. 

“Yes,” said Kiku, sounding a little hesitant. He turned a little more so he could see Herakles properly, looking him up and down. “You… have gotten thinner…”

“Ah. I’m fine,” said Herakles, though, for the first time since he appeared, he glanced away. His gaze met Arthur’s and he stilled. “You… You’re with…”

“Yes,” said Kiku firmly. He reached out blindly and caught hold of Arthur’s wrist. Arthur bit his lip, trying to keep his breathing under control. His heart was hammering as he watched the exchange, a sense of doom dropping over him like a heavy blanket. He struggled to keep his expression neutral; he didn’t want Kiku to know how much this was worrying him, not if Kiku was happier with Herakles…

“Why?” Herakles demanded, his tone becoming steelier. “Why would you go back to him?”

“Hey!” snapped Alexandru, garnering everyone’s attention. “He’s lucky Arthur-”

“Alex, hush,” Dimitar murmured, catching hold of his hand.

“He’s right,” Kiku said, suddenly, lifting his chin slightly. “He’s the best thing to happen to me - better than  _ you _ . At least he’s loyal!”

A bolt of shame rushed through Arthur, his mind instantly turning to Alfred. He wanted to tell Kiku that he was wrong, tell him about that one night. But he was unable to open his mouth for the fear practically welding his jaw closed. Then the realisation hit: Kiku had some nerve accusing Herakles of cheating when he himself had done that. Besides, had Kiku only returned to him to make Herakles jealous? Emotions churned within Arthur and he began to feel quite ill, unable to do much more than watch as Herakles returned his gaze to Kiku, frowning at him.

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about…” Herakles told Kiku.

That made Kiku spin all the way around so that he was barely perched on his chair. “I saw you! You and Sadiq, together. And when I asked what you were doing, you  _ lied _ , so how can you stand there and tell me that you don’t  _ know _ about it?!”

“Huh? Me and Sadiq?” Herakles looked quite bewildered. But, as Arthur watched, his expression faltered. To Arthur, it appeared as though he was hurt and saddened by Kiku’s words. However, there was still anger there, made evident when he snapped, “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“You’re still trying to deny it!” Kiku exclaimed, quickly standing. As he let go of Arthur’s wrist, Arthur felt a pang that was as if he was losing him again.

“I’m not trying to deny anyth-”

“You are! You can’t hide these things from me!”

“Yes, because you know all too well how people lie,” Herakles snapped.

Kiku inhaled sharply through his nose, lips pressed together. “I did that for you.  _ You _ were the one who was so persistent. Do you really think I would have… have done  _ that _ because of Arthur?!”

“And because you  _ have _ , you paint everyone the same,” Herakles told him. “You think everyone cheats because you do it.”

“I don't  _ think  _ anything: I  _ know _ , Herakles.” Kiku was frowning so deeply that Arthur couldn't help but stare. After all, he hadn't ever seen him wear such an expression. 

And it was all because of Herakles.

Arthur looked between them. Kiku’s scowl barely covered the fact that his eyes were scrunched up, tears at the corners. Evidently, this entire situation was hurting him. Herakles was the same, though he was having difficulty hiding his own despair. Yet he didn't look away, as if he was trapped by Kiku’s gaze.

The sudden realisation that Arthur hit upon in that moment made him look away, pain piercing his heart.

“Um,” said another voice and everyone turned again, looking to a waiter who had popped up beside their table. “Is everything okay, sirs?”

They all looked to Kiku and Herakles. Both of them stared at each other for a moment longer. Finally, Herakles looked at the concerned staff hovering around them and the other patrons watching this unfold. “It's fine,” Herakles said, his words making Kiku’s tense shoulders slump. The Greek man turned to go but paused before he left their side. “If you can truly think that of me, then it's a good thing you walked out on me. I hope Arthur can bring himself to take care of you.”

And, with that, he left. Kiku seemed to partially collapse as they all watched him leave the restaurant, a waiter rushing after him with a bill. Gripping the back of his chair, Kiku stared at the ground. Arthur looked on helplessly, unsure as to what to do, selfishly wanting to pretend nothing had happened.

“So,” came Mathias’s voice, “what happened after the party?” His voice was gentle, curious, and it drew Arthur's attention back to his friends.

“Not now, Mathias!” Lukas hissed as Arthur turned back to them.

“I…” Arthur began, trailing off when he realised that he didn’t know what he had been going to say.

“Arthur-kun,” said Kiku, suddenly. Arthur’s attention instantly snapped up to where Kiku still stood. His… Kiku was trembling, still not looking at him. “I… Could we please go home?” he asked in a quiet voice.

How could Arthur say no? He was on his feet in an instant, a hand at the small of Kiku’s back, barely touching him. “I… Yes. Of course.” He turned back to his friends and cast the table an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, but…”

“No, no,” said Lukas. “Go.”

“You can pay us back some other time,” Alexandru told him with an encouraging smile. Arthur could barely return it. 

With a raised hand in farewell, Arthur carefully guided Kiku through the restaurant. He could feel Kiku trembling under his hand and he desperately wanted to hug him, to comfort him. But not here, not in front of everyone who had watched the argument. And did he really want to comfort the man when it was clear that he didn’t care as much about Arthur as Arthur did about him?

Because, now, it was clear to Arthur that, despite their argument and apparent dislike for each other,  Kiku and Herakles were in love.


	2. Smooth

The drive home was quiet. Arthur tried to draw Kiku into a conversation about what to eat when they got home but his partner wasn’t interested in participating. Kiku was too busy frowning out of the window to pay Arthur any attention. He didn’t mind: Arthur wasn’t sure how he would react to that situation.

Still, the silence made Arthur uneasy.

Once they’d reached the flat, Kiku excused himself, saying that the argument had exhausted him. Arthur let him go, telling him that he’d make dinner for them both regardless. Then he’d retreated to the kitchen to make pasta, the one thing Kiku said he made well. He set aside some for Kiku and ate his in the living room, filling the silence with a news programme, though he was only half paying attention to it. Most of him was listening out for Kiku reemerging to eat dinner. However, when that didn’t happen, Arthur covered the bowl and left it on the kitchen table, boxing up the rest of the pasta to put in the fridge for later. 

Just as he was finishing the dishes, his phone rang. Blinking in surprise, he dried his hands before he plucked it from his pocket. Lukas’s name was on the screen. Arthur wondered if he was checking in, making sure both he and Kiku were okay. Or if there had been some trouble after they’d left and now he needed their help. As quickly as he could without dropping the device, Arthur answered.

“Lukas?” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“Thank goodness!” Lukas whispered on the other end, his quiet breath making a rasping sound in Arthur’s ear. “Alexan- Alex wasn’t picking up!”

“You’ve left the restaurant?” Arthur asked, making his way back to the living room so his voice didn’t echo.

“Yes. We didn’t stay long after you’d left,” Lukas explained. “But I need your help!”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Arthur frowned at the TV. “And why are you whispering?”

“Herakles wasn’t the only ex at the restaurant.”

“Huh?”

“Mathias’s ex was at the restaurant. He wouldn’t have noticed us if Herakles hadn’t turned up but… well.” There was a pause and a rustling sound. “Anyway, Mathias and I went to his place and his ex turned up drunk. They’re arguing now but I... I decided to get out of the way. But his ex is really upset and won’t leave. I was wondering if you could come help? If you’re not too busy, that is.”

Arthur glanced towards the door of the living room. With no sign of Kiku, he picked up the remote for the TV and switched it off. “Yeah, I can come help. Keep trying Alex, though. Maybe all of us can get him to leave.”

“Thank you, Arthur,” said Lukas, sighing in relief. He gave Arthur the address.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Arthur told him. 

They hung up and Arthur hurried into the hall to put on his shoes and grab his car keys. He paused before he left, catching sight of the pad and pen he had left on a small table in the hall. It was meant for leaving notes for each other, so they both knew where the other was at all times. Arthur stared at it for a moment before looking over his shoulder in the direction of the bedroom. Then, biting his lip, Arthur left without a word.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Arthur was knocking on the door of Mathias’s flat. The main door’s lock was broken so he’d managed to slip inside and climb the stairs within. However, judging from the shouting and noises from within, Arthur doubted he’d be heard. He waited a moment and knocked again before he pulled out his phone to send Lukas a text. 

About a minute later, the door was pulled open to reveal a grimacing Lukas, his hair a little messier than in the restaurant and his shirt unbuttoned at the top. Further in, the shouting had gotten louder, though Arthur still couldn’t make out the exact words. “I’m sorry about this,” Lukas murmured, barely audible over the noise. 

“Don’t worry about it,” said Arthur with an encouraging smile.

Once he’d closed the door behind them, Lukas led Arthur through the hall and to a door on their right. He grew cautious then, glancing over his shoulder at Arthur. As carefully as he could, Lukas opened it, slowly swinging it wide. Arthur stepped forward to peer inside. His jaw dropped.

The room was in disarray. A coffee table had been overturned, two coffee mugs on their side on the carpet. Their contents had been absorbed by the thick, cream fabric. Pictures had been knocked from their places, the frames cracked or smashed completely. Posters hung from the walls and the painting of a dramatic ship surging through a raging sea was askew: Arthur had the unimportant thought that the new angle made it even more intense. Cushions had been thrown around and some of them had ripped, spilling their inner softness. The TV sat at an angle, barely propped up by the wall. 

Among this destruction was a pale Mathias, hands raised to placate the person standing across from him. “Please. Calm down, okay. I’m telling you the truth-”

“Bullshit!” roared the other person in the room and Arthur’s gaze was drawn instantly to him.

His eyes widened. His breath caught. His heart stopped. There, swaying where he stood, eyes red-rimmed, hair a mess, cheeks red, was Alfred.

Drawing in a shaky breath, he tried desperately to calm himself. Now was not the time to think of their night together, to think of what could have been. He had Kiku, after all - didn’t he? And it was clear Alfred was upset. Arthur looked over at Mathias and he realised that he should possibly have made the connection. Alfred had said the boyfriend he was buying flowers for was called ‘Mat’. Clearly, their break-up had affected Alfred more than either of them thought possible.

Alfred hadn’t looked that upset when he’d seen Arthur in the florist’s.

Steeling himself, Arthur stepped into the room. “Enough,” he ordered, putting as much simulated authority in his voice as he could. Both occupants of the room turned to look at him, obviously surprised. Then Mathias looked beyond him, perplexed expression on his face. 

“Lukas,” he said, slowly. “What's this?”

“I asked-” Lukas began.

“Arthur?!” exclaimed Alfred. Everyone watched as his expression changed from one of despair to one of delight. “You came back for me!” He took a step towards Arthur before stopping to sway, dangerously close to tipping over. “Wait… Are you here for Mat, too?”

“No,” said Arthur, hurriedly. Alfred’s face had crumpled at the mere thought that Arthur was there to see Mathias. “I’m here…” He trailed off, aware that, in Alfred’s drunken state, it probably wasn't a good idea to finish with ‘for you’.

“Wait, Arthur?” said Mathias. He glanced between his ex and Arthur. “You know each other?”

Looking away, Arthur wondered what he should tell him. He couldn’t admit how they’d met, he knew that much - despite only knowing Lukas for a few weeks, he'd confided in both him and Alexandru about both Kiku and Alfred. Since Mathias was here and had, just a few hours ago, admitted that he felt that Alfred had been distracted during their time together, Arthur didn't want to exacerbate the situation.

“He bought Valen-” Arthur began.

“We met in a club,” Alfred cheerfully told him. “He’s  _ gorgeous _ !”

Heat swept through Arthur, and he ducked his head. “I… Um.”

“Ah,” said Lukas.

“What's going on?” asked Mathias, frowning now.

Warily, Arthur looked at Alfred. The drunken man was no longer paying attention, clearly lost to his memories of the night they'd met. Relieved, Arthur said, “I came to help you get rid of your drunk ex.” 

Mathias nodded, looking back at Alfred who was blinking in bemusement. “I don’t want to just throw him out,” he said, looking worried. “I’ll need to take him home.” Mathias’s attention instantly went to Lukas. “I swear, I won’t do anything with him.”

“If you tell me his address,” said Arthur, “I can take him home.” It took him a moment to realise that he had spoken out loud and instantly regretted it. Just seeing Alfred from across the room was painful. How much worse would it be to help him into a car and into his shared flat?

“You would do that?” asked Mathias, not bothering to hide his relief.

“Take who home?” Alfred piped up, finally coming back to his senses enough to take part in the conversation. His words were slower than before; clearly, the adrenaline from storming to Mathias’s flat was fading and the alcohol was getting to him.

“Are you sure?” Lukas added. He gave Arthur a worried look when he glanced at him.

“I  _ did _ come to help,” Arthur replied.

There was a short silence. Alfred, of course, was the one to break it. “Wait, Artie’s taking someone home? I wanna come!” And, caring very little for the mess on the floor, he threw himself across the room. In fact, he looked like he was going to throw his arms around Arthur and the Brit tensed, unsure whether he could handle Alfred being so affectionate. Thankfully, Alfred slipped on a photo frame and was soon flat on his face.

On instinct, his heart skipping a beat, Arthur rushed forward to help him up. “Are you okay?!” he exclaimed as he got Alfred to his hands and knees.

Alfred looked up at him, his head jerking up as if he’d just heard his voice and registered who was talking to him. His eyes widened, his pupils still noticeably dilated, and he grinned, laughing a little. “Artie! I thought I’d never see you again!” Pushing himself up, Alfred turned to Arthur, still smiling. “Let’s go somewhere private,” he whispered. “And-”

“Can you stand?” Arthur asked, hoping to cut him off before he said anything embarrassing.

As he took Alfred’s arm and pulled him upright, Mathias crossed the room. Alfred didn’t seem to notice, focussed as he was on staying on his feet. “We’ll get the doors,” Mathias murmured as he passed Arthur and he nodded in reply. Arthur shifted once Alfred wasn’t in danger of falling when he let go, manoeuvring himself to put an arm lightly around Alfred’s waist, using his other hand to grip Alfred’s arm. Once he felt he could keep Alfred on his feet, Arthur guided him towards the door.

It took a while to get Alfred out of the flat and down the stairs. With Arthur at his side, Alfred seemed to only be able to see the other two. At points, he stopped to yell at Mathias till Arthur shook him and he grew puzzled. Whenever he spotted Lukas, he got confused and tried to back away. But Arthur murmured reassurances to him and he seemed to recognise his voice enough to calm and go on his way.

Finally, they got Alfred to the car and into the passenger seat. Arthur wiped his brow with the back of his wrist once they’d shut the door on him; Alfred slumped against the window, his eyes fluttering as he tried to keep them open. He turned to find Mathias and Lukas looking at him, Mathias with his arm around Lukas’s waist. Remembering Kiku and his own reaction to his ex turning up made Arthur a little jealous, his heart clenching painfully.

“Be careful,” said Lukas.

“Yeah,” Mathias agreed. “I’ve never seen him like this.” He paused and bit his lip, ducking his head a little. “That might be my fault…”

“He’s the one who drank to excess,” Arthur told him, firmly. “Don’t feel guilty about falling in love.”

“You, too,” said Lukas, giving Arthur a stern look.

“Huh?” Mathias looked between them, puzzled.

“Have a nice night,” said Arthur, quickly.

“We will,” Lukas replied. “Once we’ve tidied up, of course.”

“Aw, but-!” Mathias whined, pouting.

“Goodbye, Arthur.” Lukas dragged Mathias away with one last look over his shoulder.

And, suddenly, Arthur was alone. Pursing his lips, Arthur turned back to the car, only to step back in surprise. Alfred was staring at him intently, following his every move with a turn of his head. It was like looking at a pointer dog, locked onto its target, Arthur being the prey. Heart beating far too fast, Arthur walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat.

Almost immediately, Alfred reached out for him. “No,” snapped Arthur, lifting a hand to fend him off. “I’m going to be driving. You can’t… You can’t touch me while I-”

“Aw, but, Artie. I wanna hold your… hand. Wanna kish… kissss… kill-kish…” Alfred trailed off before looking at Arthur with a wounded expression. “Tongue won’ work.”

“Good. Close your mouth, then.” Arthur responded as he pulled away from the flats. His cheeks were red and he could only wonder how much further Alfred would have gone if he had his wits about him. He chanced a glance at Alfred who looked upset. “Why don’t you try sleeping a little? You must be exhausted…”

Smile growing, Alfred nodded. “Aw,” he said as he settled against the window again. “You  _ do _ care.”

“Of course, I-” Arthur bit his lip. This was not the time to admit how much Alfred meant to him. Besides, he told himself, he had Kiku-

_Did_ he have Kiku?

No, he sternly told himself, he would not be like Kiku, he would not cheat. Admitting to the way his heart was beating faster at the mere sight of Alfred, the fact that his palms were sweating, that his eyes were inevitably drawn to Alfred more and more with each passing moment, would be tantamount to cheating. It would certainly invite Alfred to reach across and- Arthur shook his head as his mind went down a sexual path, imagining Alfred’s hand dipping down to his crotch, unzipping his smart trousers and-

Realising that he was speeding a little, Arthur took his foot of the accelerator and concentrated on getting Alfred home.

* * *

They eventually reached Alfred’s flat after Arthur had taken a few wrong turns. Alfred had muttered to himself most of the time and had fallen silent at when Arthur hushed him so Arthur had been able to ignore him. Now, though, he knew that he couldn’t. He’d have to drag him out of the car and into the building and up the stairs and… The thought of having to help Alfred, to  _ touch _ him made Arthur stay where he was, trying to stop himself from being more upset than he had any right to be.

“Ish thi’ where we kish?” Alfred asked, blinking blearily at him. Arthur startled: Alfred had been quiet for the last few streets Arthur had driven down and he had thought him asleep. With the way he was rubbing at his eyes and struggling to sit up, he might actually have dozed off.

“What?” said Arthur, his brain struggling to change gears.

“Makin’ ou’ in the car,” Alfred said, grinning as he tried to lean towards Arthur. Thankfully, his seatbelt kept him in place and Arthur relaxed a little. 

“No,” said Arthur and, before Alfred caught hold of his wrist or something silly like that, he got out of the car. He paused to take a deep breath before he rounded the car to help Alfred out.

As soon as he opened Alfred’s door, however, he realised he may have made a mistake. Alfred was struggling with the belt, uncomprehending of the fact that he had to push a button. He was only tugging at the two parts, frown slowly forming. In order to help, Arthur was going to have to lean across him and do it for him. That would put him within kissing distance.

There was only one thing to do.

“Alfred? What’s that?” he said, and pointed across the car. 

Blinking, Alfred slowly turned to look. Once he was facing the other way, Arthur leaned in as quickly as he could and unbuckled him, letting the belt whisk away. It caught Alfred’s attention and Arthur quickly straightened - just in time for Alfred to catch hold of his wrist. Arthur stilled, staring down at Alfred with wide eyes. Alfred looked puzzled.

“Am I…?” Alfred began but soon trailed off. He stared at Arthur for a moment. Arthur tried not to bring attention to the fact that he wasn’t breathing, that his heart had gone into overdrive once again. 

_ Stop it _ , he told himself.  _ This isn’t the time. Think of Kiku. Alfred’s in no state to do anything, there’s nothing to worry about. _

He had barely thought that than Alfred was trying to pull him down. Alarmed, Arthur noted that Alfred’s eyes were half-closed and that his lips were pushed forward a little. For some reason, Alfred had gotten it into his alcohol-addled mind that he should kiss Arthur. Thankfully, his grip was loose and the force he pulled on Arthur’s arm was weak. Arthur was able to twist his wrist around, grab hold of Alfred’s arm and haul him out of the car, narrowly avoiding hitting Alfred’s head off the roof of the car. They did stumble, however, and Arthur briefly had an armful of Alfred before he managed to push him away and onto his feet.

“Come on,” Arthur said. “Which floor is it?”

“Foursh- Fourth,” Alfred replied.

“Is there a lift- an elevator?” 

“Nope,” Alfred said, cheerful as ever and popping the ‘p’.

“Fantastic,” grumbled Arthur. “Let’s go, then.” He paused, looking Alfred up and down. “ _ Can _ you walk?” 

“Mm,” was the only reply he was given. Alfred gazed at Arthur for far longer than necessary, making him shift nervously in place. His eyes held a fondness in them that Arthur was uncomfortable with. Then, slowly, he tilted his head back and looked at the building behind Arthur. “Dunno,” he said, a confused expression forming on his face. 

Biting his lip, Arthur weighed the pros and cons of helping him up the stairs, hand around Alfred’s waist and his arm across his shoulders. He knew that he’d feel as if they were too close, too intimate in those moments. On the other hand, he really needed to get Alfred into his bed. Finally, he released his lip from between his teeth and sighed heavily. “All right, let’s go.”

As quickly as he could and hoping that no attention would be drawn to his actions, Arthur looped an arm around Alfred’s waist. With his free hand, he coaxed Alfred’s arm over his shoulder - he had to struggle to free it again when Alfred tried to lace their fingers together. Then, telling himself to stop thinking of the last time he’d seen Alfred under the influence of alcohol, Arthur tugged Alfred close enough that he began to lean his weight against Arthur. Suitably arranged, Arthur began to walk slowly towards the main door of the building, Alfred stumbling along beside him and dragging his feet. 

“Ehhh?” said Alfred, pouting a little. “But Jake and Charlie’ll be in! We can’t go to bed with them-!”

“Shush!” Arthur hissed, well aware that Alfred was louder than he needed to be.

Thankfully, the door wasn’t that far from where Arthur had parked his car, so they soon reached it. It was opening the door that turned out to be the problem. The thick metal was heavy and Arthur could barely pull it. Having Alfred hanging off him didn’t help and Arthur eventually had to use his foot to prop it open. Once he’d shuffled around and gotten Alfred inside, he was able to step in himself and make his way inside.

“Where are the stairs?” Arthur asked, looking around. He could see doors leading to either side and another door directly in front of them.

“There,” Alfred declared, pointing at the door in front of them. As he spoke he tried to walk towards it, forgetting that he was tangled up with Arthur. He overbalanced and stumbled, almost falling. Arthur managed to catch him at the last second and prop him up.

“Don’t get overexcited,” Arthur told him, helping him to the door.

After that, there were no further incidents. Somehow, Arthur managed to get him through the second door and all the way to the fourth floor. Alfred stumbled and tripped and dragged his feet, grumbling to himself. Sometimes, he spoke to Arthur, telling him that ‘it wasn’t fair’, that he needed to tell Jake and Charlie to leave so they could spend time together, complaining about Mathias. That last comment made Arthur’s heart constrict. It looked as though Alfred still cared about Mathias, just as Kiku still cared enough about Herakles to have an argument.

At least half an hour after they’d set off from the car, Arthur arrived in front of a door that Alfred claimed was his own. He wasn’t sure he believed him as it happened to be the door furthest from the stairs on one side, meaning he was hanging off Arthur for longer – with this man, Arthur wouldn’t put it past him. Just as he reached for the handle, he stopped, hand stuck out, and turned his head to peer at Alfred.

“Where are your keys?”

“Huuuuuuh?” said Alfred, blinking rapidly.

“Key,” Arthur repeated, a little slower. “To unlock the door.”

For several silent seconds, Alfred only stared blearily at him. Then his eyes seemed to brighten as realisation dawned. “Ah!” With his free hand, he patted himself down. After another long, quiet moment, Alfred stopped and shrugged. “Don’t have ’em.”

Arthur stared at him. “What do you mean, you ‘don’t have ’em’?!” he hissed, trying to stop himself from shouting. What was he supposed to do now? It was late and he wasn’t sure waking Alfred’s flatmates was the best of ideas.

“Sorry,” mumbled Alfred, suddenly looking worried. Arthur wondered if it was because he had snapped at him or if it was because he suddenly realised that he wasn’t able to get back in. He stared at the door for a moment as if it had personally affronted him. Then he kicked it, once, hard.

“Stop that!” Arthur exclaimed, as quietly as he could. “You’ll wake everyone up.”

“Jake’ll come,” Alfred said, with total conviction.

“Look, let’s just take you to a friend’s place. Who should I-?”

The door suddenly opened to reveal a young man with messy, brown hair. A couple of wayward tufts stuck up in the air, quivering as he moved. His green eyes were dulled from sleep but were quickly clearing as he took in the people at his front door. One of those strips for helping with pores was pressed across the bridge of his nose. He wore nothing but a pair of soft-looking, yellow, pyjama trousers; his bare chest a little more muscled than Alfred's had been all those months ago, but still in that lean way which suggested he was a swimmer.

"Al?" he said, bewildered.

"Jakey!" Alfred exclaimed, rather loudly. Arthur winced.

"He's a bit drunk..." Arthur explained.

"Yeah... Who are you?"

"Jake!" came a soft protest from within the flat.

No, it's..." Arthur sighed and shrugged a shoulder. "My friend's boyfriend is this one's ex" - he tilted his head towards Alfred - "and he just found out today..."

"You were with Kiku," said Alfred, suddenly.

Startled, Arthur tried to jolt away from him, forgetting for a moment that Alfred's arm was around his shoulders. His own arm loosened from its grip and Alfred slumped, dangling from Arthur's neck. Gasping, Arthur grabbed hold of him and hauled him to his feet. "Damn- Can you take him?" Arthur asked Jake. "I should... go."

"No!" yelled Alfred, straightening further so it seemed that their position was more of an embrace than an assist.

"Huh," said Jake, looking amused now. "Seems Alfie-boy likes you." He stepped aside. "Come on in. His bedroom's the last door on the right."

Unable to do anything else, Arthur helped Alfred over the threshold. Jake closed the door behind them as they struggled down the hall, Alfred throwing his other arm around Arthur's neck just to make things more difficult. The drunkard admonished Arthur for threatening to leave and pleaded with him to stay the night, to come to bed, he had condoms...

"Alfred, stop it!" Arthur snapped as he reached the door. Before he could struggle with it, another person stepped forward to pull the handle down for him.

They were considerably shorter than Jake who had seemed to be about the same height as Alfred, from what Arthur could tell. In fact, this person was a little shorter than Arthur himself. Their hair was a mass of light brown curls, brushing at their cheekbones and the tips of their ears. Just like Jake, their eyes were green, and they seemed to pierce the dim light of the hall to stare at Arthur as he led Alfred passed. This, he realised, must be Charlie.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Charlie murmured, stepping out of the way. Arthur nodded to them and passed into the room.

The sight that met him almost made him pause but he forged onwards to the bed, dropping Alfred onto it, before he straightened to take a longer look. Alfred bounced on top of an unmade Star Wars bedspread. Arthur raised his eyes to the Captain America posters which had stared or glared at him when he entered. Other superheroes and cartoon characters posed in numerous posters that covered the wall; it was almost its own wallpaper. There were even a few anime characters mixed in, which Arthur was only aware of because of Kiku. Textbooks sat in piles on Alfred’s desk while comic books, games and Blu-rays all took up space in the bookshelves that lined one wall. A pile of clothes, presumably dirty, definitely crinkled, sat in the corner, though it was beginning to spread across the floor. An satchel-type bag with the Batman logo had been dropped in the middle of the room and it had just been by chance that Arthur had missed it.

“Artie?” Alfred mumbled. Looking back at him, Arthur saw him blindly searching for him, patting the bed beside him.

With a put-upon sigh, Arthur moved into his field of view. “I’m here,” he said. “Let’s get you into bed.”

“Mm.” Alfred giggled. “Yeah.” Somehow, he managed to leer at Arthur a little. Then he winked before he had to blink rapidly to keep both eyes open.

Ignoring him, Arthur retreated to the foot of the bed. There, he unlaced Alfred’s shoes and pulled them off as gently as he could. Alfred let him and, when Arthur glanced up out of curiosity, he had propped himself up on his elbows in order to watch. Averting his gaze, Arthur finished his task and carried the shoes to the corner nearest the door. There was no sign of Jake or Charlie and he wondered why he’d been left to deal with this on his own.

Returning to Alfred’s side, Arthur stared down at Alfred’s jeans. Instead of dealing with that, Arthur turned to the slightly easier task of removing Alfred’s red white and blue hoodie. “Okay,” he said. “Sit up.” Alfred struggled to do as he was asked but Arthur was quick to grab his elbow and pull him upright. Then he gestured for Alfred to lift his arms up. Alfred only looked blankly back at him. “Arms up,” Arthur ordered, gesturing once more. This time, Alfred did as he was told and Arthur grabbed the hem of his hoodie. With one, firm pull, Arthur managed to pull off the hoodie – and the shirt underneath. He grimaced with how the situation now looked.

“So glad you’re here,” Alfred murmured, looking at Arthur. His gaze seemed a little hazy and Arthur guessed that he’d pass out soon.

“Are you?” said Arthur, distractedly. Since Alfred seemed to content to stay sitting up, Arthur put a hand on his chest and pushed him back down to a lying position. His hand happened to land on Alfred’s heart and he was able to feel it beating far faster than it should. Arthur’s own began to speed up once more, well aware of what could be happening if Alfred wasn’t drunk.

“Mmhmm. My life’s such a mess,” Alfred told him, apparently not noticing that Arthur was in the middle of undoing his jeans. They were a little tighter than they should be and, now that Arthur had removed the barrier, he could see that Alfred was a little pudgier than he had been when they’d been in the club. He had the feeling that Alfred had been stress eating.

“Is it?” he said, keeping his voice low as he began to unzip the trousers.

“Yeah. Need you.”

Arthur froze at those words, his gaze flicking up to Alfred’s blinking blue eyes. All Arthur could do was stare at him in shock. What did Alfred mean by that, exactly? And could Arthur help him-?

No. He was still with Kiku.

Forcing himself to move, Arthur tugged at the trousers, trying to get them to budge. When that didn’t work, he sighed and looked up at Alfred again. “Lift your hips,” he said. Smiling, Alfred did as he was told, his cheeks flushed. Arthur told himself it was the alcohol as he divested Alfred of his jeans, thankfully leaving his boxers on. “Right,” he said, throwing the clothes into the pile. “Let’s get you tucked in.”

“‘Tucked in’?”

“Yes. You need sleep,” Arthur said as he pulled the covers over him. He tucked them in around Alfred, making sure he couldn’t get anywhere. Or so he hoped – almost immediately, Alfred had wriggled around and gotten a hand free. “Go to slee-”

“Don’t go!” Alfred exclaimed, and he grabbed hold of Arthur’s wrist.

Before Arthur could properly react, Alfred had pulled him onto the bed. Arthur toppled forward, only just catching himself from falling completely on top of Alfred with a hand on the other side of Alfred’s head. However, Alfred’s head came up to meet him, lips pursed slightly, and their teeth clashed as Alfred kissed him.

It was a sloppy, messy kiss. Alfred was using his tongue but barely moving his lips so that it was almost as if Arthur’s mouth was being assaulted by a rather enthusiastic dog. That was not the case, as Arthur quickly found out when Alfred’s hand let go of his wrist and grabbed the back of his head, holding him there. With the awkward way Arthur was half-lying, half-kneeling over the top of Alfred, he couldn’t find the right purchase to break away from the kiss.

He also couldn’t find it in himself to stop from kissing back, desperate.

Almost as soon as he’d started, Arthur was ashamed of himself. Panicked, Arthur bit Alfred’s lip as hard as he could. There was a muffled sound of protest, the feeling of teeth scraping at his own lip and the pressure of Alfred’s hand lessened as he jerked away. As quickly as he could, Arthur pushed away from him, not caring if he jostled or hurt Alfred. Once he was on his feet, he stared at Alfred who was wide-eyed, lips parted in surprise.

“You’re… with-” Alfred’s lip wobbled. “Don’t go. Please. I’m sorry!” And, before Arthur could fully make his escape, Alfred started to shake, tears rolling down his reddened cheeks. There were sniffles and Arthur could tell that he was going to start sobbing.

Quickly, Arthur sat on the bed beside him, turned slightly away so he couldn’t sneak another kiss. His heart was still hammering and he felt horrid. How could Kiku and Herakles deal with the knowledge of their betrayals? Did they not feel as slimy and horrid as Arthur now did? Lifting a trembling hand, Arthur reached out to Alfred. The surprise of it made Alfred stop crying, a questioning hum vibrating from his throat. Arthur ignored that and, tentatively, carefully, he lightly stroked Alfred’s hair.

“I won’t go. So go to sleep.”

“You won’t?” Alfred asked, hopefully.

“Not just yet. Go to sleep.”

“Mm.” Alfred gave him a soft smile before he relaxed fully on his bed. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply and hummed at Arthur’s ministrations. Arthur himself began to hum a lullaby he remembered his mother singing. He couldn’t remember the exact words so he kept it to a hum, casting his mind back on his childhood and everything that had led him to this moment. Eventually, Alfred’s breaths evened out and, when Arthur stopped and lifted his hand away, it was clear he was fast asleep.

For a moment, Arthur stared down at him. Alfred’s hair was a mess and he had dark circles under his eyes. Tear tracks were still visible as the flush died down. His mouth, however, was quirked upwards in a small, happy smile. He looked like he was finally at peace after a series of hardships.

Arthur’s heart ached.

Because despite his declarations and despite the way he acted, Alfred still might not be in love with him. He wouldn’t be this upset over seeing Mathias with another man if he wanted Arthur. Alfred clearly needed space. And Arthur was with Kiku, who he was determined he would not cheat on or hurt. If he left Kiku for Alfred, what would Kiku think? Did Arthur really want Alfred or was it one night that had turned into a fantasy? Arthur didn’t want to make the wrong choice…

After a few minutes longer of merely staring at his one-time lover, Arthur stood and, forcing himself not to look back, he left.


End file.
